So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
