thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
