dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
