i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
