Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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