All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
