did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
