i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
