Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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