my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
