I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
