Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My dick has a subreddit
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
