can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize