she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize