I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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