Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
