Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
