Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize