Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
