I heard we made out
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
