it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
