nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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