you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize