What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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