i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize