OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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