My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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