then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
