After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
