Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize