I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
