Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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