I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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