Need sex. Gaining weight.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she told me i tasted like america
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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