she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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