You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
