Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
