you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
