That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
