Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
