I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
my liver is dry heaving
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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