We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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