Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
