i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize