I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
