I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
