I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
