I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
