He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
