remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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