What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
