i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
