youre lurking in front of me
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
