so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
