Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
