This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
