"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
