On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
