just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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