Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
