i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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